Sunday, October 21, 2012

Thoughts in my 'old age'...

So, I turned 30 this week....I'm not really sure what I was expecting, so i'm not really sure if it happened or not!
I did however hear a lot this week about what kind of mom/wife/teacher/daughter/granddaughter/niece etc I am from a lot of different people. I read a blog posted in an unlikely spot that seemed to be taken directly from my brain that I thought others may find interesting as well. The mom writing this has only one child, however the sentiment is still the same...

"I love my son — my wild, irreverent, strong-minded, funny, loving beautiful baby boy more than anything in the world. As challenging and as frustrating as he can be, he is my life’s blood.
love my work. Demanding, creative, fun, exhausting, exhilarating work. As challenging and frustrating as it can be, my work is also my life’s blood.
I would not be a good parent without my work and, conversely, I would not be fulfilled by my work without my son. Finding a guilt-free balance between the two sometimes seems like an impossible task.
I dream of being the ultimate mother and career woman — one who is able to prioritize time with the precision of a skilled surgeon. Look amazing, eat right, stay in shape and zip around on nothing more than a grilled chicken salad and a protein shake…
Add to that cooking endless organic treats for my perfectly dressed, highly intelligent, well-spoken, well-behaved child whilst juggling charity dinners, “parent share” at his school and acting full-time on my showUnforgettable whilst producing two other shows with numerous other projects in the air.
All this with a smile on my face and always on time … I am not that woman!
I have tried (and would like) to portray myself as a cope-with-all-that-is-thrown-at-me, tough, resilient, breast-beating career woman with a soft side. The parent who can come home after a 12-hour work day, bake cookies and come up with super creative art projects. No! That is not me.
And I feel guilty about it every day. I feel guilty that I am not giving my all to my son. I feel guilty that I am not giving my all to my work. And yet, I am. In the best possible way I know how. Why are we parents so critical of ourselves? What is it with the guilt?
There are days when my boy can be a messy, unrelenting, confusing, selfish, button-pushing, rude, demanding little monster … however, that’s not to say that I would not lay my life down for him, or that he doesn’t give me the greatest of joy or make me roar with laughter, ache with love or bulge with pride. That’s just to say that no one is perfect. Not them. Not us.
So how do I balance parenting, work, career, love and life? How do I prioritize in a futile attempt to have it all?
I fly by the seat of my pants … I attempt to prioritize as I go by trusting my instincts and my gut. I rely on my friends and family and try to express my need for support. I try to remember that it’s okay — good, even — to carve out tiny moments just for myself and I try to give myself permission to simplify.
I allow myself the freedom to cut out what I am not good at (cooking, making the beds) and embrace what I am good at (reading stories, snuggling). I remind myself that most of the time I’m doing my best and try to remind myself that quality is more important than quantity — though I am yet to be convinced of this!"
So, in my own words, ...no, I don't keep the house clean or stay up to date on laundry and my "For the house" Pinterest board will not likely ever see any real use, because to be honest, when I come home from what is usually a 10 hour day (with work to bring home BTW) I'd rather sit on the couch with my family and watch a movie that makes us laugh than do any of that. I would have hoped that by 30 I'd have "figured it all out", but I haven't.  I still don't remember things without out incredibly anal lists, I don't particularly see the need for handwritten thank you cards after I've already said thanks in person and I don't save as much money as I should. I do however bake goodies for friends who have had a bad day, look at the store for Hulk halloween costumes just because someone I like said they couldn't find one, and I hope that I can get through a day making someone feel a little bit better.Yes, I do often wish I was better about keeping things picked up or having more nutritious dinners on the table at an earlier hour, but maybe I'll have the next 30 years to figure all of that out. :)

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Fishing

Josh had the opportunity to go fishing with his dad and the kids thus week. They weren't very successful, but check out Jackson's catch!

More summer pics

Science center, Botanical Gardens, and the park!!

Monkey Joe's

One day while brother was at camp E had a play date with some friends at Monkey Joe's!

Summer fun!

Ted Drewes is the best way to stay cool!

Monday, July 2, 2012

I am blessed

I am blessed...
I am blessed to have a husband, even on the days when we challenge each other.

I am blessed...
I am blessed with 2 healthy, beautiful, intelligent children, even on the days when we push each others buttons.

I am blessed...
I blessed to have a family, even on the days I just want to be alone.

Sometimes I have to just keep telling myself that...

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

"I think everybody should like everybody"

I find it almost humorous how upset people get about people who have different opinions than they do. My time as a social studies teacher seems to remind me that one of the many different reasons why our country was founded was so that people COULD have a place to create their own opinions, especially when it came to religious opinions. Yet, here we are fighting because our opinions are different? I understand the desire to seek the truth, but I can't help but think maybe there's a reason why people interpret the Bible differently. Don't you think that if God had wanted us to all think and believe the same way he would have left less shades of gray?

Monday, May 7, 2012

I hope I never forget...

How Jackson started calling flip-flops "floppies" so much that it has stuck with the family. Also, how he loved "raleeolee" (ravioli) and "Bunny milk" (nesquick strawberry milk)

Elliette walking around the house asking for things like "Waff-waffs" (frozen blueberry waffles) and "lick o lish" (licorice)

Oddly enough Jackson once struggled with not understanding why he couldn't just turn 'brown' like his "girls", and E doesn't get that she can't just turn into a boy like her daddy and "Jack-Jack"

Monday, March 19, 2012

Summer already?

No, just spring break. However, I must say the weather lately has been AMAZING! Just a few pictures from the St. Patrick's Day parade (E now refers to the leprechauns as "Patricks") and playing at the park.

Friday, March 9, 2012

"Look Mommy"

I'm not sure there are any more uncertain words to hear as a mom. Sometimes they mean "look at this A+", or "look at my artwork", or "look I dressed myself", or tonight "look snow".... As in E found a container of baby powder and shook it all over the kitchen table...don't judge my cluttered table by the way...!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Famous American

For as many years as I've been a teacher, the 4th graders at our school have done a 'Wax Museum' of famous Americans. This year was Jackson's turn and I was quite excited to see what he would come up with. I really didn't want to require him to pick whoever I thought was influential like some parents, but I also didn't want him to pick someone, well, boring. First he wanted to do Albert Pujols, and while feelings about Pujols are mixed in STL, he's still awesome in the eyes of a 10 year old, however I vetoed on the issue of nationality. Next he wanted to be Brad Paisley, but his teacher understandably questioned his influence despite his possible popularity. Then we were in talks about Walt Disney, but Josh vetoed and said that if I can refuse to celebrate Columbus Day, he could say no to Walt. Jackson's next idea got me excited - Steve Jobs! I mean, think of how easy the costume would be, and he could bring cool gadgets to school. Sadly, when Jackson saw the size of the Steve Jobs biography he changed his mind. Finally we came to a choice everyone could live with - Tony Hawk! The costume was easy since Jackson prefers to dress like a professional skateboader already; he read through 3 biographies in a week and got a little motivation to go outside and skateboard even though it was kind of cold. Yeah Jackson!!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Something you need to know...

My daughter enjoys picking out her own outfits...and I let her!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Yesterday....

This picture hangs next to our sink and I see it every day...and smile. Not only does it seem just like yesterday that my little man (he's almost as big as me!) was E's age, but this picture reminds me of the spirit within him, what a serious soul really is hiding inside the mass of ADHD and budding testosterone that fight to control him. In this picture I also see that my plans for him are simply that, MY plans, not his and not God's plans for his life. He is his own person, making his own way in this world, and though I sometimes struggle to remember that, I never forget how blessed I am to be his mom...

5 second memory

I saw a picture if a '5 second memory book' instead of a baby book today and started to think about all the things I haven't written down about Elliette that I did write down for Jackson. So, a few things that have been in my head lately that I don't want to forget...I recently realized that E has traded saying "lo-gurt" and "lellow", for their proper "yogurt" and "yellow". She is also starting to give up saying "I need-want ______" whenever she wants something. She makes up songs ALL the time, including songs about the new babies she is going to take care of at school, but our favorite song is "Dora panties, for my butt cheeks"!!!! Love both of my kids and hope I don't forget all of their funny stuff!!

Monday, February 20, 2012

Valentine's Day

A late post of a few V-day treats...heart shaped pancakes for breakfast and a special treat for J's teacher!

King Cakes

Happy Mardi Gras! We don't really celebrate Mardi Gras, we avoid the big parties and crowds, but I will usually take any reason to make fun desserts. I found a recipe for individual King Cakes and E and I made them while J played with some friends. They turned out a little crispy, ( I must say mine were better than E's!), but were still yummy.


Starting off....
Adding cinnamon and sugar
Guess which ones are mine and which are E's?
Playing with the extra sugar


Finished product!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Snow cream

Couldn't let what might be the only snow we get this year pass without making Jackson's favorite winter dessert...snow cream!